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Brought up May 8, 2010

Those of incorrigible disbelief

First, I'd like to thank everyone for their support on this blog. It's helped me a lot, but this blog is on a personal matter for Saturday.

I will be addressing the kind of people most of us have problems with, the people who will not see the truth, and bend it to their own ends such that it no longer resembles the reality of any other person.

Such is the case, as there is a situation here in Southern Utah which I have been drawn into it seems. I have been called a liar many times in my life, and I would imagine that I will be many more. But on this occasion I doubt that I have fooled myself.

I worked building a kind of trellis called a pergola. Its a little shade giving trellis attached to a building. I built these with a gentleman first out of his garage, then out of a storage shed, and I was earning $10 and hour. At the time of my first paycheck, This man's wife had to go to New Jersey and money was tight so he paid me $500 of the $900 he owned me. I'm fine with that, it would get me by for a while.

After she got back, (not directly but within 2 weeks) her husband, the man I was working for, was in an accident. This was apparently a DUI, and he ran from the scene, and cops were everywhere looking for him. She was trying to find him, and so I told her that I would watch her kids for a while, she said she wouldn't be gone long, and she was gone until around 12. She came back, and I was still watching her kids so she left again. The cops came, and I did my best to answer their questions. She came back around 2 or 3. Then went to the cops, and I was out by about 4, at the very outside, maybe even by 3.

I did not talk to her after that, I had been doing some work for my employers uncle, who paid me 200 for the work I had done, and I didn't talk to them for a period of several months.

I saw them again at their kids birthday party, their kids are friends with my best friend's kids. So it was fun, I didn't mention the money, as they were going through a very hard time.

So long story short, my former employer's wife is at the heart of a bit of drama, and my dear best friend is asked for advice. After pouring all his considerable wealth of knowledge into an eloquent letter, which I am mentioned as an example of when she can be less than perfect, owing me around $900 in total for my work, she calls me a liar, saying she paid me personally. My former employer and his uncle were the ones to pay me, not her. I remember when people hand me money. I am more than willing to let this go, but when someone hands you a hundred dollars you remember it. If someone were to hand you 900 dollars, which is what I was happy to settle for, you for sure remember it.

There are people, when faced with the truth, do their best to squirm out of it. This isn't always at the front of the mind, but it is likely there some place. These people are so consumed by the fear of their imperfections and sorrow they refuse to let go, truth must be replaced by what they wish it were.

These people will lash out at every possible thing around them, and eventually only regard their idea of "truth". Should they be grudged? No, but at times we have to give them wide birth, and hope that at a point they see the consequences of their actions.

Regardless of the actions we take, it is so difficult for these people to see any wrong in themselves, it is like speaking to the moon's reflection in a pool, it will not be touched, and only the surface will move, but once the waters have calmed, the reflection is as it was.

Such are those of incorrigible disbelief. May all the Buddhas and Boddhisatvas of the ten directions help then in this life and the next, though I am not sure how.

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Dyane » 8 years ago

Thanks for a new perspective on.. things. It helped.

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